This isn’t Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No”—it’s “Just Say WTF”, as Nick and Ryan stumble through the rise of fentanyl: the drug so potent it makes heroin look like chamomile tea. The boozed up brothers discuss the rise of fentanyl, the opioid crisis, and why Big Pharma basically turned America into one giant painkiller trial nobody signed up for.

Highlights include:

• Funeral Rave Grandma Edition — where Xanax gets passed out like Werther’s Originals and the front row looks like a nursing home zombie apocalypse.
  
  
• Bottom-Shelf Bourbon Science — because apparently whiskey reviewers can taste “sawdust and wood oil” (translation: that guy was already on fent).
  
  
• Paging Dr. Dumbass — the medical philosophy that “you can’t get addicted if you’re in pain,” which is the scientific equivalent of “calories don’t count if you eat standing up.”
  
  
• Drug Pigs & Charlotte’s Web 2.0 — because why shouldn’t children’s books double as narcotic branding guides?
  
  
• The Russian Hostage Rescue Plan™ — nothing says “strategic genius” like hosing down 800 civilians with fentanyl gas and then shrugging when 120 don’t make it.
  
  

By the time the rogue chemist with “prison ethics” shows up, and cocaine retirees start dropping like flies, you’ll realize the opioid epidemic isn’t a crisis—it’s a Coen Brothers dark comedy accidentally directed by Michael Bay.

Bottom line: Fentanyl isn’t just a drug, it’s Darwin’s favorite party trick—and your only defense is praying your dealer owns a calculator.